The location I live in are full of people who are judgmental and racist, and I am from a different country so maybe that’s why. This is very timely & useful for me Barrie. ... How this one Buddhist teaching turned my life around. Spending too much time on your couch – watching Netflix, staring into your smartphone, or reading a newspaper – is a surefire way to misery town. Just thinking about happy events from the past can make you feel happier. When you actively pursue your personal evolution, you come to this realization sooner than others might. Hi I am 35 and feel like a ciomplete failure, I have it all lovely kids and a great husband. Lend a hand to a friend who is moving. I had post partum depression after having my daughter. I spent my whole life depressed (my first suicide attempt was at the age of 7. I look forward to seeing your site and work. Should I get my gun and start a riot? Why is there an emphasis on spirituality in modern psychology? I often feel unhappy. I loved your article !!! When you are alone in a world of couples, life can be pretty lonely. The Total Money Makeover: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness, As you realize you can't achieve perfection, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYvmjdqpT7Y, http://www.ted.com/talks/shawn_achor_the_happy_secret_to_better_work.html, 31 Must-Know Signs You Will Never Get Married, 75 Weird And Random Things To Say To Entertain Your Friends, The Only List You’ll Need Of 311 Likes And Dislikes, Helpful Communication Exercises For Couples, 77 Existential Questions To Blow Your Mind. You may worry that the relationship is going to fall apart or that your partner will leave you — or that you need to leave him or her. Everyday is consumed with unhappiness instead of the joy of my babys first years. Your happiness is totally dependent on outside events. Please forgive my poor grammar and punctuation. My childhood was messed up by abuse , depression and anxiety. Although I am conscious of my nitpicking ways, I just can’t seem to turn things around. Why aren’t i pretty why don’t people like me why dont boys like me. In the meantime, look for friends who don’t put so much emphasis on superficial things. In her book, The How of Happiness, Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky reveals her research on what makes people feel happy. Say “Thank you” to the check-out person at the grocery store. I hardly ever leave home and if I am forced to, I have to program myself days in advance. We all have a “negativity bias,” tending to focus more on unpleasant thoughts, interactions, and events. I didn’t know why I was unhappy or how to stop being unhappy. As you become skilled at “reconditioning” your life, you should see a dramatic improvement in your happiness. It is possible to Retrain the Brain on how to focus our attention a different way! Oftentimes, says Feuerman, unhappy marriages are rooted in imbalances where one person thinks they’re superior to their partner and dismisses their … Identify the people in your life who are frequently unhappy, and try to spend less time with them. Regardless of a … Email me if you I understand and think the same way you do. Work toward excellence in whatever that thing happens to be. Who would you like to get closer to? Positive Affirmations: 101 Life-Changing Thoughts To Practice Daily, 21 Happy Thoughts To Help You Snap Out Of A Negativity Slump. Click to Grab the FREE Report: "Boring To Badass: Reinvent Yourself By Learning Self-Confidence Skills”. You have a bad habit of ruminating on negative possibilities or situations. I have done the same thing and still no answer. There are alot of people whom like to divide others and lift their own advantages. To learn more, check out this course that can help you grow your confidence at work and home. Or you might have problems in one of your relationships or an issue at work. I crave family support but my family is too busy with their religion and new families they’ve created. You are highly focused on money and material things. Focus your thoughts on all of the good things and people you have in your life. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Look in the mirror every morning and tell yourself you love and accept yourself just as you are. 1. You may have had some traumatic or difficult situations in your past — situations that merited feeling unhappy and depressed. Anyway I somehow managed to get through my childhood, and into an adult life just as miserable. I lived my life paycheck to paycheck and in constant survival mode. Here’s youtube video on it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYvmjdqpT7Y, 2) I really enjoyed the book “The Happiness Advantage” by Shawn Achor. You've become so attached to being a victim that you've forgotten how to take control of your life and create the conditions for the happiness you long for. You can’t control the weather, the genes you were born with, diseases that have no cure, or the fact that you are getting older. Maybe you feel happiness is a random and fleeting feeling. Great article. Nothing good comes from staying angry or hurt. Thank you. Take some time every day to review past joys either in your mind or by writing in a journal. Also, by having gratitude, does this mean it’s “wrong” to desire or achieve more? Achievement definitely affords self-esteem and happiness. Meds never helped. I'm lonely, and I feel as if there's not much to live for. Put your focus on achieving something — whether it’s your school work, a hobby, or an extracurricular activity. I keep comparing my life to other people’s and its a source of constant dissatisfaction to me to know they are so happy and im not !! While I agree with all the advice that's already been offered, I'd like to address the difficult-to-face reality of why most of it will fall flat and be ineffective. You may constantly feel tense and angry or wounded and unloved. Let it go. Unhappy people generally aren’t very strong-willed, so they are also prone to falling to compulsive and addictive behaviors. It’s horrible. This is true no matter where you are unhappy in life. lol.. Practice your religion, spirituality, or personal growth. Of course, some people feel unhappy and negative because they are clinically depressed. I am disappointed in the people here. And I got myself a therapist and talked about my life … I will definitely be looking forward to read more of your articles. Everything I had that made me happy like work, friends, hobbies all became meaningless because “I” became meaningless when I was betrayed and hurt so deeply. Everyone wants that special person in their lives, the one love who makes us feel happy and complete.” I also hate talking on the phone and avoid phone calls, making or receiving them! If so, what can you do to change it? Yes, seven.) ), 2 fantastic children, live in a great place in Devon. I have since learned that these thoughts were not my fault. Here are 15 top reasons you create more dissatisfaction and negativity in your life. When I turned 13 it suddenly started getting even worse. I was so focused on helping others that I neglected myself. You feel helpless and hopeless because you anticipate bad outcomes even when there's no evidence of them. I remember the first few months after my son was born. Circumstances can certainly make life unhappy. Some days I don’t even recognise my own thoughts they are so dark and filled with fear as to what can happen to me now. Again, practicing optimism will begin to change your brain and feelings. How to Conquer It for Good, I Survived Burnout More Than a Few Times, and Here’s What I Learned, 30 Ways to Practice Self-Love and Be Good to Yourself, what happens when you refuse to be a victim, The Happiness Advantage: How a Positive Brain Fuels Success in Work and Life, The Happiness Project: Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun, The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want, The Correlation Between Spirituality and Happiness, Take A Moment And Read This Because You Might Be Too Busy Doing Nothing In Your Life, What Happens When You Refuse To Be A Victim And Decide To Take Control. I am unhappy now, and looking for answers, but for totally different reasons. If you’re in an unhappy marriage, you’d see a lot of conflicting differences in both your perspectives towards life and your goals in life. These negative feelings take over your thoughts, leading to bitterness and irritability. You may have someone in your life who has hurt or offended you, and you just can't let it go. Multiple therapists haven’t helped. I work full-time and I am around really nice people, but the frustration comes from the uncertainty in my life. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. You don't need to feel guilty about being unhappy or pretend to be happy when you're not. Do you wake up in a lousy mood nearly every day and ask yourself, “Why am I so unhappy?”. I agree largely with the eliminating points. You think about the person or situation constantly and feel increasingly put out by it. Excellent article Barrie! I care so much about what people think and i have terrible self esteem. Let's look at these for a minute. This causes depression and mood swings… do you have any chronic conditions, and have you gotten a hormone test? Confidence is a skill that you can improve. At 15, how your peers view you and how you compare to others is something that feels really important. But a part – often a big part – of unhappiness comes from our own thinking, behavior and habits. But your trauma around those events has infected your life for years or even decades. … Or the one person you went out with who didn’t lie or abuse you, you dumped because you genuinely thought you would be a burden to him. Money and things might provide a temporary boost of happiness, but then you quickly become bored and long for the next thing or a higher income. But just awareness is often enough to help shift us out of the negativity cycle of thinking and start spreading positivity. Hi Caley, It must be done to be happy so again make the … I have been depressed since I was 13. I hate to get up in the mornings, it is hard to face another day here. Everyone is unhappy from time to time — and often with good reason. Keep on keeping on! If you don't get enough sleep, if you are spending too many hours working, if you haven't addressed a chronic health issue, you are going to feel depleted and unhappy. First, we have to explore the reasons that cause you to be unhappy with life in the beginning. I tried for ten years to have a baby and when I was blessed with my little darling on the day of her birth she had to be cut out of me to save her life. Why is that? my problem is negative thinking and badluck When you're constantly reminded that you owe money, you feel bad about yourself and unhappy with life. How to Get Motivated Every Day When You Wake Up, How Perfectionism is Holding You Back (and How to Let Go), What Is Procrastination and How to Stop It (The Complete Guide), 25 Simple Weight-Loss Tips You Shouldn’t Overlook, 12 Best Foods That Improve Memory and Brain Health, Why Am I so Unhappy? Those who are in a relationship can become very unhappy if the relationship starts to sour. An essential part of personal growth is recognizing that happiness is an inside job. Right now she needs her Mom to keep going and get healthy. And while you are looking for your true love, appreciate all of the benefits of being single. To learn more, check out this course that can help you grow your confidence at work and home. I was a ridiculously average guy and deeply unhappy … … I am 26. Have you checked on all your chemicals? I think people are unhappy because of the feeling that society gives certain people based upon stereotypes. “You don’t have a significant other. I also tended to delude myself into thinking that this thing or that will make me happy, but off course nothing ever made me happy. I really loved your article. I had all of that, plus a husband who left me while I was in the hospital. I feel like runnin away. But I am unhappy. However, the emphasis on these things is lessened as you get older and as others around you are more mature and see the value in more important things. I see nothing in these posts about living someplace you hate and that increases the misery in your life. I was involved in a unhealthy relationship with my childs father. I will definetly keep this article in mind when I’m feeling down. i am not getting apprpriate responce means i am preparing well for xams but am not getting job..so un happy.help me out, happiness comes from the heart and not just what you have, you can be the richest and be unhappy and the poorest can be happy to have everlasting joy you have to be with god. Self-acceptance and self-compassion are your only exit ramps away from this impossible mindset. Not dead and depressed! I need an escape and feel completely lost. But not with the sustaining points. I really wanted him before he was born. Let me just start by saying, I completely understand. Thanks. The link to Shawn Achor’s Tedtalk was SO helpful. My only friends are online, and I'll never get to see them in person. Read The Total Money Makeover: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness. They jump from one distraction to another as a form of escapism … You are unhappy with your life because you are comparing it with another life. Do visit my website too for inspirational and true stories. I have never been a happy person but living in a place that I hate is just about more than I can take. I second that, with a similar experience. What’s ingrosed into us becomes a part of us as we grow older. I am currently experiencing many unhappy thoughts, and it pains me. Your physical health can impact everything else in your life, so do what needs to be done to get healthy. Well I have been unhappy and depressed my whole life even when I’m doing things I love.i just sit and stare and can’t wait till its over with.My family says I have a distant look in my eyes I’m never happy.And yes I do take medicine and I do see someone, it does no good.There are people like me that have never been molested or anything and are still unhappy …I am pretty much the walking depressed:(, That sounds like a chemical imbalance of some sort, what with the irrational gloom. I am … Well tomorrow is always different but im always the same! There are no rules in life, in particular, the rule that life is fair. Sometimes there are mistakes that over time, just get you to a point where it’s just too late. Before you even get out of bed, you feel stressed and negative. How Do You Say No Without Feeling Guilty? I have something practica to apply to my life that’s proven to help!! Your feelings always follow the trajectory of your thoughts. I have a lovely husband (we’re more like friends really and often question our marriage but know it could be worse! Thank you so much for sharing these resources Kelly! Need help with it? For some of us we realize we have made all the wrong decisions in our lives and we just can’t find a good “next step” right now. Hormones have wrecked my life. Constantly thinking about the past surely isn’t helping. How can it come from within when within you feel so unhappy? My mother only calls me when she needs something. (Although chronic unhappiness can lead to depression.). It's natural to reach out to an ex when you're feeling insecure or unhappy in your relationship, so if you constantly feel a really strong urge to ask them how they're doing, there are … I come from China。. Our lack of taking responsibility leads to following others beliefs and ideas instead of following our own. As a society we have such a negativity bias. Everything in life seems to be ‘in place.’ A person might have supportive friends, a good job, financial security and a loving family yet still feels unhappy or as if life is not worth living. Just keep going I guess. … What to do. Just giving yourself permission to look will give you a happiness boost. You can see why that can cause unhappiness. I’ve been down myself lately & this helped me see a way out. ... My life seemed to be going nowhere. Staying active and around other people is a great antidote to unhappiness. but still, this is no excuse. My parents as well and the people around me make me feel depressed. Happiness can be a paradox: The more you reach for it, the more it seems to slip through your fingers. Unhappy people tend to operate from the default position that life is both hard and out of their control. Finding happiness is an inside job! 50 Little Things That Secretly Make You Unhappy, 10 Amazing Benefits of Swimming You Never Knew, How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often, 20 Excuses Most People Make That Stop Them From Reaching Their Dreams, 5 Real Relationship Goals You Should Actually Strive Toward, When You Learn A Second Language, These 7 Amazing Things Will Happen To You, 15 Things To Stop Doing If You Want To Be Truly Happy, We say yes because we feel good when we help someone, What Is Time Management and How To Manage Your Time Wisely, How Self Care Can Help You Live Your Best Life, Do You Have a Fear of Disappointing Others? When you do good things for others and see how it positively impacts them, you feel happier. If you're constantly thinking, “Why am I so unhappy in my relationship?” then you can count on your life being pretty bleak until you sort it out. This happened only 3 months ago and I spend everyday in fear unable to let go to enjoy my baby who I waited so long for. It's hard to be happy when you are never good enough. In many cases, I would say it was the spouse CAUSING the stress. I know that currently where I am I don’t like it and it is making me unhappy. So happy to meet you here! Being unhappy about these situations is natural and is often a motivator to make positive and necessary change. The rest sucks, i am miserable, with the culture, the world around me is focused on religious values, Fox news..also some liberal values I hate like high taxes, I hate the fact that the world around me goes to shit financially and educationally scientifically we become reduced. I know that im young and that i should be happy but i hate my appearance and others do too. You don't have to spend a lot of money to find something interesting to do with your time. You are deeply uncomfortable with your flaws and failures and can't be satisfied until you're perfect. It's hard to feel happy when you are filled with anger and resentment. I am single never been married I mostly have friends with benefits relationships, easy women, single moms, older ladies pre menopause high sex drive etc etc…That’s actually the only part in my life that is ok. I’m only 17 years old & I feel like am 30 who is unhealthy, over weight, single, & really unhappy. Now married with one child yet I have never been in love. How Self Care Can Help You Live Your Best Life, 40 Self Care Techniques To Rejuvenate And Restore Yourself, 11 Expert Tips to Stop Being a People Pleaser and Start Doing You, Tips to Get Over Your FOMO, or Fear of Missing Out, 40 Self Care Techniques To Rejuvenate And Restore Yourself, 7 Small Ways to Break Out Of Your Comfort Zone That You Can Start Doing Today, 7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language, How to Apologize When You Have Made a Mistake. 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What needs to be thankful for to person or in a journal find a home. Frustration comes from real, deep friendships and relationships and from accomplishing something in your life it! Contribute to your unhappy life receiving them certain chronic illnesses that may affect hormones or why am i so unhappy with my life! Become non functioning and see how it positively impacts them, you should a. ), 2 fantastic children, live in a great husband toward excellence in whatever that happens... Goes a long recovery to do get through my childhood was messed by. Remember happy times like I used to however, remaining unhappy for a dating service join. Happiness feelings to put off suicide thinking that tomorrow will be different stepdad me! Are out of hospital and already being treated for depression. ) what people think and I 35.